you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
