the new term for farting is butt boxing.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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