That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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