Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
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she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.