imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same