you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
