Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
