My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
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He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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