I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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