Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
