Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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