I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I pour the whiskey from now on
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
