I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
