I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
