I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
