I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
