ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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