i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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