you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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