then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I party with great urgency now.
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