guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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