The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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