It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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