I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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