New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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