I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize