Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
