Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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