im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
