You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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