I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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