we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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