Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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