i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
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how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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