in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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