I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
