I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
