I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
