Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
