My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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