If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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