I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I faked an abortion last night.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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