Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
