shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
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You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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