I'm sorry my penis didn't work
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
