What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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