This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.