Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
