He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
