Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
