Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize