she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
