This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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