So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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