is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
