u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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