some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
