hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
