You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
