Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
