you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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