having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
