Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
